I Played Golf... I Did Not Get

I Like Kinko's, Because They're Open 24 Hours. If It's 5 Am And I Decide I Need Two Of Something, I'm Covered! Sometimes I Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night In A Cold Sweat, And Then I Think, "oh, Yeah. Kinko's. No Problem. That Will Not Remain Singular."

On A Traffic Light Green Means 'go' And Yellow Means 'yield', But On A Banana It's Just The Opposite. Green Means 'hold On,' Yellow Means 'go Ahead,' And Red Means, 'where The Hell Did You Get That Banana At?'

I Love My Fed-ex Guy Cause He's A Drug Dealer And He Don't Even Know It...and He's Always On Time.

I Had A Job Interview At An Insurance Company Once, And The Lady Said 'where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?' I Said, 'celebrating The Fifth Year Anniversary Of You Asking Me This Question!'

I Had A Chicken Finger That Was So Big, It Was A Chicken Hand.