When I Play Poker, I Don't Like

One Day I Was Running Around Playing With My Son Connor When Afterwards I Was Sweating, Tired And Out Of Breath. I Was Embarrassed That Something As Enjoyable As Playing With My Son Was So Tough For Me To Do. Immediately I Started An Extensive Diet And Exercise Plan. It Completely Changed My Life And Helped Cure My Type-2 Diabetes.

Eating Crappy Food Isn't A Reward -- It's A Punishment.

Boy, A Drive-through Liquor Store. God Bless America! A Place Where You Can Drive Through And Buy Whiskey, Beer... Just The Thing For That Drunk Driver Who's Constantly On The Go. Cant Stop Now! I've Got Places To Go, People To Hit!

I Could Still Eat A Cheeseburger If I Wanted To. I Just Can't Have Them Every Day.

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.