When I Play Poker, I Don't Like

If Frogs Could Fly... Well We'd Still Be In This Mess, But Wouldn't It Be Neat?

There's Nothing Like The Energy In A Small Comedy Club Room Or A Small Theater When It's Going Really Well. I Can See Everybody's Face Practically In The Whole Room. There's No Cameras In The Way, And It's Just Me.

Oh, You Hate Your Job? Why Didn't You Say So? There's A Support Group For That. It's Called Everybody, And They Meet At The Bar.

Oh, And Once, When I Was In The Marines, I Got A Perfect Score On My Physical Fitness Test.

Reality Shows Always Look For The Worst People.