When Humor Goes, There Goes Civilization.

Car Designers Are Just Going To Have To Come Up With An Automobile That Outlasts The Payments.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will Last For Ever.

I Have A Theory About The Human Mind. A Brain Is A Lot Like A Computer. It Will Only Take So Many Facts, And Then It Will Go On Overload And Blow Up.

I Love My Mother For All The Times She Said Absolutely Nothing.... Thinking Back On It All, It Must Have Been The Most Difficult Part Of Mothering She Ever Had To Do: Knowing The Outcome, Yet Feeling She Had No Right To Keep Me From Charting My Own Path. I Thank Her For All Her Virtues, But Mostly For Never Once Having Said, "i Told You So.

Why Take Pride In Cooking, When They Don't Take Pride In Eating?