When Has Stand-up Comedy Been Kind To

Lick The Alphabet. It Makes You Appear Creative, It's An Easy Diagram To Remember, It's Like "aaaaa.... Beeeee.... Ceeee.

I Started Saying Things In Church That Didn't Meet With A Lot Of Approval - Like 'jesus Isn't Coming Back.' They Started Throwing Bibles.

You Don't Know What A Rough Crowd Is. If All I Have To Do Is Go Make People Laugh, That's Nothing. Let Me Tell You What A Tough Crowd Is. A Tough Crowd Is Going To A Morning Service And You Got Six People There And You Gotta Pay Your House Payment. That's A Tough Crowd.

Aids Is A Horrible Disease, And The People Who Catch It Deserve Compassion.

With Any Other Celebrity, People Come Up And Say, 'hey, I Really Like Your Work.' But With My Fans, When They See Me, They Don't Even Say Hello. They Just Go, 'awwwwwghghhhghghrrr!'