I Want To Show People That There's

When Has Stand-up Comedy Been Kind To Anyone? It Goes After Anyone Who's The Target. Comedy Attacks, Man.

So Many People Counted On Me To Be The Party, I Had To Move Far Enough Away That They Wouldn't Want To Drive There.

Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days... Not All In A Row.

John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A Category Beyond Fat. What Does One Call It? Whalelike.

Rage Only Works If It Is Justified. That's The Trick With Rage. You Gotta Have A Reason To Be Mad.