What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas

There Were Four Million People In The American Colonies And We Had Jefferson And Franklin. Now We Have Over 200 Million And The Two Top Guys Are Clinton And Dole. What Can You Draw From This? Darwin Was Wrong.

I Took Benzedrine - I Got Clairvoyance. With Benzedrine You Can Have A Very Wide View Of The World, Like You Can Decide The Destiny Of Man And Other Pressing Problems, Such As Which Is The Left Sock?

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.

There's So Much Botox Around Now That You Can't Tell When A Jewish Girl Is Angry!

I Watched Ken Burns' Civil War Series On Pbs. My Favorite Segment Is When Bob Hope Entertains The Troops At Gettysburg.