What A Childhood I Had. Once On

My Cousin Is Gay, In School While Other Kids Were Dissecting Frog, He Was Opening Flies.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. The Time I Was Kidnapped, And The Kidnappers Sent My Parents A Note They Said, "we Want Five Thousand Dollars Or You'll See Your Kid Again."

At Christmas Time We Couldn't Afford Tinsel, So We'd Wait Till Grandpa Sneezed.

One Time I Went To A Hotel. I Asked The Bellhop To Handle My Bag. He Felt Up My Wife!

Acting Deals With Very Delicate Emotions. It Is Not Putting Up A Mask. Each Time An Actor Acts He Does Not Hide; He Exposes Himself.