Well, I Play Jews And Parrots. Parrots

I've Never Been One Of Those Who Wanted To Fill My Calendar Up 90 Percent Of The Time.

I Was The Class Podiatrist. I Never Made It To Class Clown. I Wasn't Funny Enough. I Would Examine Feet And Prescribe And Ointment. It Was A Sad Childhood.

If I Could Cause World Peace By Taking Someone Out To Lunch, I'd Go, 'well, War Isn't That Terrible.'

I Find Washington Audiences Are Basically The Same As Every Other Audience; They Watch Me And Go, 'who's Idea Was It To Go See Him? And Is It Too Late To Ask For My Money Back?'

I Guess If They Ever Do A Remake Of 'sophie's Choice,' I Could Play The Meryl Streep Part. I've Got To Work On My Polish Accent. Maybe I'll Be The Definitive King Lear One Day. You Know, If They Ever Feel That King Lear Should Be More Jewy.