I Think Of Alan Thicke As Perry

I Used To Go To The Improvisation Comedy Club Every Night In Times Square. How I Didn't Get Killed In That Area Either Means That 1) God Is Watching Over Me Or 2) I Am So Insignificant To God That He Didn't Bother Having Me Killed.

I Always Wish The Hotels Were Like They Are In Movies And Tv Shows, Where If You're In Paris, Right Outside Your Window Is The Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, The Pyramids Are Right There. In The Movies, Every Hotel Has A Monument Right Outside Your Window. My Hotel Rooms Overlook The Garbage Dumpster In The Back Alley.

Unfortunately, I've Never Been Mistaken As Johnny Depp.

People Have Many Theories About Comedy, But Being Just Plain Funny Is The One Most Important Thing.

A Man Goes To The Doctor For A Check, And The Doctor Exams Him And Says I've Got Bad News, You've Got Cancer And Alzheimers. The Man Goes Thank God I Don't Have Cancer.