Valentine's Day Is Like Armistice Day -

War Toys Are Scary. They Have A Rocket Launcher With A Bayonet Attached, In Case You Miss.

On Valentine's Day, I Wired Flowers For My Mother-in-law, But She Found The Fuse.

The Post Office Is Very Careful Nowadays. When They Get A Package Marked "fragile," They Throw It Underhand.

There Are A Lot Of Things Money Can't Buy. Not One Of Them Is On My Son's List.

My Son Has A Big Christmas Problem - What Do You Buy For A Father Who Has Everything And You're Using It?