Two Fish In A Tank, One Says

I Went To The Doctors The Other Day And I Said, 'have You Got Anything For Wind?' So He Gave Me A Kite.

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

Two Cannibals Eating A Clown. One Asks The Other, 'does This Taste Funny To You?'

I've Been On The Whisky Diet - I've Already Lost Three Days!