A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A

I Used To Be Indecisive But Now I Am Not Quite Sure

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".

I Went To The Doctors The Other Day And I Said, 'have You Got Anything For Wind?' So He Gave Me A Kite.

I Went To The Dentist. He Said "say Aaah." I Said "why?" He Said "my Dog's Died."

A Man Goes To A Fancy Dress Party Dressed Only In His Y-fronts. A Woman Comes Up To Him And Says "what Are You Supposed To Be?" The Man Says "a Premature Ejaculation." "what?" Says The Woman. The Man Explains "i've Just Come In My Pants."