A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A

So I Rang Up A Local Building Firm, I Said 'i Want A Skip Outside My House.' He Said 'i'm Not Stopping You.'

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

Went To The Paper Shop - It Had Blown Away.

So I Went To The Doctor's Yesterday. He Said, "what Appears To Be The Problem?" I Said, "i Keep Having This Dream, Night After Night, Beautiful Girls Rushing Towards Me And I Keep Pushing Them Away." He Said, "how Can I Help?" I Said: "break My Arms."

I've Been On The Whisky Diet - I've Already Lost Three Days!