I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other

A Dyslexic Man Walks Into A Bra.

I Went To The Dentist. He Said "say Aaah." I Said "why?" He Said "my Dog's Died."

Our Ice Cream Man Was Found Lying On The Floor Of His Van Covered With Hundreds And Thousands. Police Say That He Topped Himself.

A Blind Bloke Walks Into A Shop With A Guide Dog. He Picks The Dog Up And Starts Swinging It Around His Head. Alarmed, A Shop Assistant Calls Out: 'can I Help, Sir?' 'no Thanks,' Says The Blind Bloke. 'just Looking.'

You Know, Somebody Actually Complimented Me On My Driving Today. They Left A Little Note On The Windscreen, It Said 'parking Fine.'