I Had A Ploughman's Lunch The Other

Doctor, I Can't Pronounce My F's, T's And H's.” “well You Can't Say Fairer Than That Then

A Policeman Stopped Me And Said: Would You Please Blow Into This Bag, Sir? I Said: What For, Officer? He Said: My Chips Are Too Hot.

A Man Goes To A Fancy Dress Party Dressed Only In His Y-fronts. A Woman Comes Up To Him And Says "what Are You Supposed To Be?" The Man Says "a Premature Ejaculation." "what?" Says The Woman. The Man Explains "i've Just Come In My Pants."

So I Knocked On The Door At This Bed & Breakfast And A Lady Stuck Her Head Out Of The Window And Said: 'what Do You Want', I Said, 'i Want To Stay Here'. She Said, 'well Stay There' And Shut The Window.

Two Eskimos Sitting In A Kayak Were Chilly; But When They Lit A Fire In The Craft, It Sank, Proving Once And For All That You Can't Have Your Kayak And Heat It Too.