Twitter Is One Of Those Dangerous Toys

I Think Helen Of Troy Must Have Been Pretty Hot. She Got Two Countries Going Crazy For 10 Years Over Her.

My Name Has Zero Value.

You Can't Make Money On Broadway. You Make Nothing. You Maybe Make Like $1,350 A Week After You Pay Out All The Producers.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

People Say History Was Written By The Winners. No, It Wasn't. It Was Written By The Bullies.