To Get Over My Divorce, I Got

No Matter What Heights You Achieve, Even If You're Brad Pitt, The Slide Is Coming, Sure As Death And Taxes.

One Night I Went Over To Get Some Dope From Some Hollywood Tough Guy. After I Left, My Son Scott, Who Was Only Fifteen, Went Over With A Baseball Bat To Kill Him. I Was Laughing Out Of One Eye And Crying Out Of The Other. I Thought, Who Am I Kidding?

Some Guys Say Beauty Is Only Skin Deep. But When You Walk Into A Party, You Don't See Somebody's Brain. The Initial Contact Has To Be The Sniffing.

I Don't Think Silicone Makes A Girl Good Or Bad.

Someone's Always Saying, "it's Not Whether You Win Or Lose," But If You Feel That Way, You're As Good As Dead.