Think Of Me As A Sex Symbol

Too Many Comics Today Ramble. By The Time They Get To The Punch Line, The Audience Has Either Gone To Sleep, Gone To The Bathroom Or Gone To Bed.

You Know You're Old When Your Walker Has An Airbag.

To Get A Roaster Clean, Send Something Like Baked Apples In It To A Neighbor. Neighbors Always Return Pans Spotless, And You Won't Have To Use A Blow Torch On It Like You Usually Do.

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Remarrying A Husband You've Divorced Is Like Having Your Appendix Put Back In.