I Have So Many Liver Spots, I

My Recipe For Dealing With Anger And Frustration: Set The Kitchen Timer For Twenty Minutes, Cry, Rant, And Rave, And At The Sound Of The Bell, Simmer Down And Go About Business As Usual.

Before You Get Married You Should Meet Your Fiance's Parents. It Is Not Enough That You Like His Parole Officer.

It Took Me Three Weeks To Stuff The Turkey. I Stuffed It Through The Beak.

Too Many Comics Today Ramble. By The Time They Get To The Punch Line, The Audience Has Either Gone To Sleep, Gone To The Bathroom Or Gone To Bed.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!