My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face

Aim High, And You Won't Shoot Your Foot Off.

I'd Love To Slit My Mother-in-law's Corsets And Watch Her Spread To Death.

You Can Say The Nastiest Things About Yourself Without Offending Anyone.

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!

My Husband Is So Cheap. On Christmas Eve, He Fires One Shot And Tells The Kids Santa Committed Suicide.