My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face

All I Ever Learned At My Mother's Knee Was What A Bony Knee Looked Like.

Carry An Oar When You Drive. Three Times I've Ended Up In Water.

When I Go To The Beauty Parlor, I Always Use The Emergency Entrance. Sometimes I Just Go For An Estimate.

This Woman Was So Cross-eyed. She Can Go To A Tennis Match And Never Move Her Head.

Isn't My Fur Stole Pitiful? How Unsuccessful Can A Girl Look? People Think I'm Wearing Anchovies. The Worst Of It Is, I Trapped These Under My Own Sink.