There's Only Five Real People In Hollywood.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.

Age Is Something That Doesn't Matter, Unless You Are A Cheese. Age Is Strictly A Case Of Mind Over Matter. If You Don't Mind, It Doesn't Matter.

Comedy Itself Is Based Upon Very Old Principles Of Which I Can Readily Name Seven. They Are, In Short: The Joke, Exaggeration, Ridicule, Ignorance, Surprise, The Pun, And Finally, The Comic Situation.

I Feel Responsible For Johnny Ray's Success. See Many Years Ago I Asked Him To Be On My Show And He Asked For A Lot Of Money And I Cried. And He Stole That From Me.