There Is Only What Is And That's

I Wanted Out Of The Navy So Bad In '45, I Faked Homo To Get A Discharge. It Didn't Matter That The Germans Surrendered, I Knew We Were Heading To Japan And I Was Done With That Scene.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

If You Believe There Is A God, A God That Made Your Body, And Yet You Think That You Can Do Anything With That Body That's Dirty, Then The Fault Lies With The Manufacturer.

The Reason I'm In This Business, I Assume All Performers Are -- It's Look At Me, Ma! It's Acceptance, You Know -- Look At Me, Ma, Look At Me, Ma, Look At Me, Ma. And If Your Mother Watches, You'll Show Off Till You're Exhausted; But If Your Mother Goes, Ptshew!

There Are No Dirty Words, Only Dirty Minds.