There Are Two Things At Which Most

If You're Watching A Comedian On Television And He's Making A Political Point, I Would Say He's Gotten Too Serious.

This Would Have Been A Great Game To Watch If We Didn't Have Any Money On It.

I Completely Understand Why A Businessman Would Fire Me From 'saturday Night Live'. Because He Was Seeing Jay Leno Kill 10 Minutes A Night, Doing His Monologue With Wall-to-wall Laughs And Applause, Then I Do 10 Minutes A Week To, Sometimes, Breathtaking Silence. He's Just Listening For The Laughs.

They Say That If You're Afraid Of Homosexuals, It Means That Deep Down Inside You're Actually A Homosexual Yourself. That Worries Me Because I'm Afraid Of Dogs.

Our Passions May Be Compared To Certain Slaves--the More Severity We Show Them, The Better They Obey Us.