The Way Prices Are Rising, The Good

Mind You, I've Always Been Musical... Mother Used To Sit Me On Her Knee And I'd Whisper, 'mummy, Mummy, Sing Me A Lullaby Do,' And She'd Say: 'certainly My Angel, My Wee Bundle Of Happiness, Hold My Beer While I Fetch Me Banjo.'

I Went To My Doctor And Asked For Something For Persistent Wind. He Gave Me A Kite.

I'd Like To Thank The Bbc For Allowing Me To Work Here. And I'd Like To Thank The Wife And Kids For Making It Necessary.

The Mother-in-law Came Round Last Week. It Was Absolutely Pouring Down. So I Opened The Door And I Saw Her There And I Said, 'mother, Don't Just Stand There In The Rain. Go Home.'

My Lad Chewed And Swallowed A Dictionary. We Gave Him Epsom Salts - But We Can't Get A Word Out Of Him.