I Know My Name Will Always Be

My Wife Is A Sex Object - Every Time I Ask For Sex, She Objects.

The Mother-in-law Is The Centre Of A Family.

The Mother-in-law Came Round Last Week. It Was Absolutely Pouring Down. So I Opened The Door And I Saw Her There And I Said, 'mother, Don't Just Stand There In The Rain. Go Home.'

The Wife's Mother Said, ‘when You're Dead, I'll Dance In Your Grave.’ I Said: ‘good, I'm Being Buried At Sea’.

I'm The Most Unromantic Lump Of Northern Suet. Yes, A Woman Did Accost Me Once In South Shields, But She Had A Face Like Red Rum.