The Voice In My Head Has A

A Lot Of These Kids I Think Are More Content Just To Be On Facebook And The Computer Than They Are To Actually Go Out. They Just Really Want To Get A Picture To Post To Their Buddies, And That's About It.

What's The Two Things They Tell You Are Healthiest To Eat? Chicken And Fish. You Know What You Should Do? Combine Them, Eat A Penguin.

If You Take Off Your Pants And Her First Reaction Is, "awwww, Look At It...like A Little Baby Jesus." Time To Buy A Porsche.

Sometimes. I Get Recognized, But I'm Not Really A Famous Famous. I'm Pretty Low On The Showbiz Totem Pole - I Mean, I'm No Jon Or Kate Plus Eight. I'm Just A Comic, Not A Baby Factory.

My Cousin Had A Baby And I Was Watching Her Breastfeed For A Couple Of Bucks, And I'll Tell You Ladies: It's Amazing.