I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love

Everything You Do, Burns Calories. Getting Up In The Morning, 100 Calories; Kicking The Hooker Out Of Your Bed, Another 100; Diapering Your Monkey, 35 Calories; Laughing At A Midget, Fun And 10 Calories; Catching Your Girlfriend With Another Guy, 2000-3000 Calories, Depending On Backswings.

So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate Traveling, Mostly 'cause My Dad Used To Beat Me With A Globe.

Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.

I'm Sitting In The Bus Station, Minding My Own Business, Reading 'ta-da!' Magazine; A Magazine By And For Gay Magicians, But That's A Different Story.

I Have An Imagination Because My Life Is So Boring That My Imagination Lets Me Get Off The Reality Of What's Going On.