Next Time Your Lady Leaves The Room,

If I Was To Have Sex With One Animal It Would Be A Horse. That Is A Beautiful Animal. And When You Have Sex With A Horse, You Know You Always Have A Ride Home.

Everything You Do, Burns Calories. Getting Up In The Morning, 100 Calories; Kicking The Hooker Out Of Your Bed, Another 100; Diapering Your Monkey, 35 Calories; Laughing At A Midget, Fun And 10 Calories; Catching Your Girlfriend With Another Guy, 2000-3000 Calories, Depending On Backswings.

You Gotta Make Your Own Fun. That's Right, Listen To That Mother Of Two, She Knows What I'm Talking About.

I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes.

Don't Get Me Wrong, I Like To Cuddle. But There Is Such A Fine Line Between Cuddling And Holding Someone Down So That They Can't Get Away.