She Was So Fat That Her Belly

The Other Night A Mugger Took Off His Mask And Made Me Wear It.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.

I Was An Ugly Kid; When I Was Born, After The Doctor Cut The Cord, He Hung Himself.