The Reason God Made Man Before Woman

Never Lend Money To A Friend. It's Dangerous. It Could Damage His Memory.

Many Wise Words Are Spoken In Jest, But They Don't Compare With The Number Of Stupid Words Spoken In Earnest.

It's So Simple To Be Wise. Just Think Of Something Stupid To Say And Say The Opposite.

For Attractive Lips, Speak Words Of Kindness. For Lovely Eyes, Seek Out The Good In People. For A Slim Figure, Share Your Food With The Hungry. For Beautiful Hair, Let A Child Run Their Fingers Through It Once A Day. For Poise, Walk With The Knowledge That You Never Walk Alone. People, More Than Things, Have To Be Restored, Renewed, Revived, Reclaimed, And Redeemed. Remember, If You Ever Need A Helping Hand, You Will Find One At The End Of Each Of Your Arms. As You Grow Older, You Will Discover That You Have Two Hands, One For Helping Yourself And The Other For Helping Others.

If You Die In An Elevator, Be Sure To Push The Up Button.