The Opposite Of Sad Is Down's Syndrome.

I Know Her In The Biblical Senseand When I Say That, I Mean I Don't Believe A Word She Says.

I Love Austin, But Last Time I Was In Town For Twelve Hours. I Was Exhausted, Drunk And Miserable. But None Of That Was Austin's Fault.

Sure, My Uncle Killed Himself Playing Russian Roulette. But I Choose To Remember Him As A Great Russian Roulette Player.

Of All The Ways People Save Time, I Think Racism Is The Worst.

Every Sunday My Dad Calls To Ask If I Went To Church. And Every Sunday I Lie And Say: Sorry. Wrong Number.