The Opposite Of Sad Is Down's Syndrome.

I Was Always Cutting Words. I Even Would Write My Jokes In My Notebook. I Still Do This, Almost Like A Poem.

I've Spent The Past Two Years Looking For My Ex-girlfriend’s Killer… But No One Will Do It.

Im Not The Voice Of Reason; Im More The Guy Using These Offensive Topics As Fodder To Raise Tension In A Joke.

Jeff Ross Has Been Roasting People Since Whitney Cummings Was Nothing But A Glint In The Eye Of The Man Who Raped Her Mother.

Usually The Beginning Of A Story That People Hear A Lot. For Example, "my Girlfriend Is Upset About Her New Haircut" Or "my Dad Keeps Losing His Car Keys." And Then I Just Think Of Different Ways The Story Could End. "my Girlfriend Is Upset About Her New Haircut. I Don't Understand Why She's Crying. I'm The One Who Has To Get A New Girlfriend." Then I Try It Out On Stage. I Don't Do A Lot Of Re-writing. My Jokes Either Work Or They Don't. The Trick Is Just To Write A Ton Of Jokes.