Of All The Ways People Save Time,

I'm Very Arrogant And Mean. I'm Almost Like A Bad Guy Professional Wrestler.

When My Girlfriend Cooks Dinner, I'm Happy To Do The Dishes. Because I Make Her Wash Dishes When I Take Her To A Restaurant.

Who Do You Think Was Smarter, Jesus Or Buddha? I Mean, Just In Terms Of Not Letting Themselves Get Crucified.

I Spent All Night Feeding The Homeless To Dogs.

I've Got A Long History Of Suicid In My Family; The Good News Is It Skips A Generation, So, If I'm Lucky, My Kids Will Kill Themselves.