The Message Of Great Art Is To

Laundry's Easier When You Live Alone. Fifteen Minutes Before A Date, Put 'em On, Dry 'em With A Hair Blower.

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.

I Pray If I Ever Find Out I Have Only About Three Minutes To Live It's During A Basketball Game, Because Then I'll Have, What, 10, 12 Years To Live?

I Have Six Locks On My Door All In A Row. When I Go Out, I Lock Every Other One. I Figure No Matter How Long Somebody Stands There Picking The Locks, They Are Always Locking Three.

I Am Thankful The Most Important Key In History Was Invented. It's Not The Key To Your House, Your Car, Your Boat, Your Safety Deposit Box, Your Bike Lock Or Your Private Community. It's The Key To Order, Sanity, And Peace Of Mind. The Key Is 'delete.'