A Man Who Was Loved By 300

What Do Hookers Do On Their Nights Off, Type?

When I Played The Sahara Hotel In Las Vegas On New Year's Eve, I Got To Bring Wiley, My 85-pound Black Lab. He's Responsible For My Favorite New Year's Memory Of All: At The End Of The Show, He Ran Onstage And Then Out Across All The Tables In The Showroom, Sending Champagne Glasses And Gamblers Flying.

I Wasn't Funny As A Kid. I Remember Enjoying Comedians, But I Never Understood It Was A Job Choice Or A Profession.

To Listen To Your Own Silence Is The Key To Comedy.

President Bush Said He Didn't Want To Renew The Assault Weapons Ban Because It Might 'infringe On Hunters' Rights'. Who Needs An Ak-47 Machine Gun To Go Hunting? Let Me Tell You Guys Something... If It Takes You 500 Rounds To Bring Down A Deer, I Don't Want You Going To The Bathroom In My House!