The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All

The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All Good Comedians Are Manic-depressive.

I Now Consider It A Good Day When I Don't Step On My Boobs.

My Daughter Refuses To Call Me Mother In Public; My Little Grandson Calls Me Spongeslob Squarebottom, And Nobody Else Ever Calls Me At All.

Money Can't Buy You Happiness But It Can Pay For The Plastic Surgery.

Nothing Is Yours Permanently So You Better Enjoy It While It's Happening.