The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do

Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll Drink Breakfast Together!

Thou Shalt Not Kill Anything Less Than A Fifth.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

The Laziest Man I Ever Met Put Popcorn In His Pancakes So They Would Turn Over By Themselves.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.