I Never Eat Before Breakfast.

If Pigs Had Wings, They Would Be Pigeons.

The Advantages Of Whiskey Over Dogs Are Legion. Whiskey Does Not Need To Be Periodically Wormed, It Does Not Need To Be Fed, It Never Requires A Special Kennel, It Has No Toenails To Be Clipped Or Coat To Be Stripped. Whiskey Sits Quietly In Its Special Nook Until You Want It. True, Whiskey Has A Nasty Habit Of Running Out, But Then So Does A Dog.

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck

A Rich Man Is Nothing But A Poor Man With Money.

California Is The Only State In The Union Where You Can Fall Asleep Under A Rose Bush In Full Bloom And Freeze To Death.