I Never Eat Before Breakfast.

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's House Unless They Have A Well-stocked Bar.

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

I Never Smoked A Cigar In My Life Until I Was Nine

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

Yes I Do Like Children ... Girl Children...about Eighteen Or Twenty.