The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

Don't Commit Suicide, Because You Might Change Your Mind Two Weeks Later.

The Most Important Thing About Writing A Book Is Having Book Parties.

Put Yourself In Hamlet's Shoes. Suppose You Were A Prince, And You Came Back From College To Discover That Your Uncle Had Murdered Your Father And Married Your Mother, And You Fell In Love With A Beautiful Girl And Mistakenly Murdered Her Father, And Then She Went Crazy And Drowned Herself. What Would You Do? Go Back For A Masters?

I Learned Quickly That When I Made Others Laugh, They Liked Me.

I Earned My Stripes As A Marine, And The Corps Gets Full Credit For Straightening Me Out. At 17, I Was Young, I Was Unhappy And Most Of All, I Was Undisciplined. The Marine Corps Was The Right Service In The Right Place At The Right Time.