As The Economy Gets Better, Everything Else

When I Got To The Hospice I Was Under The Impression It Would Be A Two- Or Three-week Stay. But Here I Still Am, Six Weeks Later, And I've Gotten So Well Medicare Won't Pay For Me Anymore.

The Buffalo Isn't As Dangerous As Everyone Makes Him Out To Be. Statistics Prove That In The United States More Americans Are Killed In Automobile Accidents Than Are Killed By Buffalo.

This Is What Makes Me Happy: ...any Music-free Restaurant ... A Grandson Who Offers To Clean The Snow Off My Driveway And Also Fix My Computer ... An Evening In Bed With A Good Book. ... A Good Night's Sleep ... As You Can See, It Doesn't Take Much To Make Me Happy.

While My Friends Were Discussing Pearl Harbor As The Country's Problem, I Took It Personally. It Dawned On Me That The Japanese Attack Could Be My Ticket Out Of High School.

I Like Champagne Because It Always Tastes As Though My Foot's Asleep.