That's Bad Luck: Three On A Midget.

I Did Toy With The Idea Of Doing A Cook-book . . . The Recipes Were To Be The Routine Ones: How To Make Dry Toast, Instant Coffee, Hearts Of Lettuce And Brownies. But As An Added Attraction, At No Extra Charge, My Idea Was To Put A Fried Egg On The Cover. I Think A Lot Of People Who Hate Literature But Love Fried Eggs Would Buy It If The Price Was Right.

In America You Can Go On The Air And Kid The Politicians, And The Politicians Can Go On The Air And Kid The People.

I Must Confess, I Was Born At A Very Early Age.

When Discovered By His Wife, Kissing The Maid, Groucho Said, "i Was Just Whispering In Her Mouth"

If Women Dressed For Men, The Stores Wouldn't Sell Much - Just An Occasional Sun Visor.