That Would Have Been A Great Ticket,

It Was So Hot Today That Burger King Was Singing, "if You Want It Your Way, Cook It Yourself".

The Hollywood Tradition I Like Best Is Called Sucking Up To The Stars.

People Are Hypocrites. If You Ask Them What They Want To See On Tv, They'll Tell You They Want Better Quality Programming. And Then What Do They Watch? 'gilligan's Island.'

He's So Fat, He Can Be His Own Running Mate.

I Wouldn't Have The Slightest Interest In Running For Public Office. I'd Rather Make Jokes About Politicians Than Become One Of Them.