I Get Sick Of That Old Rationalization,

Believe Me, You Don't Walk Away From The Kind Of Money You Make With A Daily Television Show. You Might Get Awful Tired Of It Sometimes, But Take A Second Look At The Check And You Get Less Tired Right Away.

From The Time I Was A Little Kid, I Was Always Shy. Performing Was When I Was Outgoing. So I Guess I Am A Loner. I Get Claustrophobia If A Lot Of People Are Around.

The Worst Gift Is A Fruitcake. There Is Only One Fruitcake In The Entire World, And People Keep Sending It To Each Other.

Despite The Fact That Computer Speeds Are Measured In Nanoseconds And Picoseconds - One Billionth And One Trillionth Of A Second, Respectively - The Smallest Interval Of Time Known To Man Is That Which Occurs In Manhattan Between The Traffic Signal Turning Green And The Taxi Driver Behind You Blowing His Horn.

There's Only One Critic Whose Opinion I Really Value, In The Final Analysis: Johnny Carson. I Have Never Needed Any Entourage Standing Around Bolstering My Ego. I'm Secure. I Know Exactly Who And What I Am. I Don't Need To Be Told. I Make No Apologies For Being The Way I Am.