I Am One Of The Lucky People

May You Have The Income Of A Republican And The Sex Life Of A Democrat!

When The Public Starts Classifying You As Thoughtful, Someone Given To Serious Issues, You Find Yourself Declassified As A Humorist.

I Know You've Been Married To The Same Woman For 69 Years. That Is Marvelous. It Must Be Very Inexpensive.

They Say Atomic Rad-i-ation Can Hurt Your Reproductive Organs. My Answer Is, So Can A Hockey Stick. But We Don't Stop Building Them.

Nbc's A Little Jealous Of Cnn Correspondent Wolf Blitzer. They Want To Get A Reporter With A Macho-sounding Name Too, So They're Changing Irving R. Levine's Name To Scud Shrapnel.