He's So Fat, He Can Be His

Happiness Is Seeing Your Son Drafted The Same Day He's Been Accepted To An Expensive College.

Like Their Parents, Kids Flock To See James Bond And Derek Flint Movies - Outrageously Antiheroic Heroes Who Break All The Taboos, Making Attractive The Very Things The Kids Are Told They Shouldn't Do Themselves.

Happiness Is Being Stuck In An Elevator And Discovering The Ravishing Blonde With You Is A Liquor Salesman With A Case Of Samples.

I Am Taking The Applause Sign Home, Putting It In The Bedroom.

Democracy Is Welcoming People From Other Lands, And Giving Them Something To Hold Onto. Usually A Mop Or A Leaf Blower.