He's So Fat, He Can Be His

Nancy Reagan Fell Down And Broke Her Hair.

Thanksgiving Is An Emotional Holiday. People Travel Thousands Of Miles To Be With People They Only See Once A Year. And Then Discover Once A Year Is Way Too Often.

I Hear That Whenever Someone In The White House Tells A Lie, Nixon Gets A Royalty.

Maybe We Should Hold The Next [olympic] Games In Afghanistan And Hope The Soviets Pull Out Of That One Too.

Happiness Is Having A Rare Steak, A Bottle Of Whiskey, And A Dog To Eat The Rare Steak.