Thanks Cows. I Appreciate Your Tastiness.

I Love Zombies. If Any Monster Could Riverdance, It Would Be Zombies.

I Aim To Please. I'm Nothing If Not A Vaudevillian.

Sober Alkies Are Often Asked: "when Did You Hit Rock Bottom?" But A More Informed Question Might Be: "how Many Times Did You Hit Rock Bottom?

So Far Rich People Have Been Very Quiet About The Possibility Of Getting Taxes Raised On Them, But That Doesn't Mean They Won't Get Mad About It, It Just Means They Don't Know About It. Because It Takes A While For Bad News To Reach A Rich Person. First Their Accountant Has To Tell The Butler, Who Has To Tell The Servant, Who Wouldn't Dare Interrupt Their Game Of Croquet.

I Don't Drink Anymore For Cinco De Mayo. I Celebrate With Mexican Food, Or As It's Known In Mexico: 'food.'