I Have A Beard. Just Not On

Every Day I Ran To That Book Like It Was A Bottle Of Whiskey And Crawled Inside Because It Was A World That I Had At Least Some Control Over, And Slowly, In Time, It Began To Take Shape.

The Meeting With Prince William Took Place At The White House Because Prince William Wanted To See Where The President Spent His Days, But The Golf Course Was Covered In Snow.

A New Restaurant Here In Southern California Requires Women To Wear High Heels. I'm Outraged! This Is Sexist! Why Just The Women?

You Know Who They're Blaming For Global Warming Now? This Is True. Fat People.

Anyone Who's Just Driven 90 Yards Against Huge Men Trying To Kill Them Has Earned The Right To Do Jazz Hands.