I Have A Beard. Just Not On

Fraser's Mother, Janice, Was Actually Quite A Happy Soul But She Had To Hide It Because, Like All Pseudo Intellectuals, She Thought Being Cheery Made Her Look Stupid, Which Of Course She Was For Believing That Rubbish In The First Place. She Like To Talk About Sartre Sometimes, Just As Insurance.

You Know Who Sang At Rush Limbaugh's Wedding? Elton John! According To Rush, Gay People Can Sing At Weddings. Just Not Their Own.

I Don't Think Wood Was Discovered In Britain Until The 1970's. That's When I Discovered It Anyway.

I Was 15 Years Old When I Was In This Band; We Were Called Stag. We Used To Wear Spandex Pants And No Underwear - We Looked Like Marbles Smugglers.

The Smurfs 2 Is A Great Movie. The Smurfs Are Tiny Little Creatures That Everybody Loves. They're Like Justin Bieber - Minus The Part About Everybody Loving Him.