I Have A Beard. Just Not On

I Haven't Had A Drink In Thirteen Years, But Occasionally I'm Tempted To Have One Beer. The Problem Is That If I Have That One Beer, I Wake Up In Tijuana Four Days Later With A Tattoo And A Sore Ass.

Old People Really Do Have A Secret Though. You Wanna Know What It Is? Luck.

If You Absolutely Believe That What You Do Is Right, You're Bullet-proof.

Historically, When Americans Don't Know What To Do Next, They Go To Paris. Benjamin Franklin Is Like: 'what Am I Going To Do Now? I'll Go To Paris!'

I'm Reading A Book, Because I'm Brainy. No, It Is A Book - If You Don't Know, It Is Like A Blog Except Bigger.