Television Is A Triumph Of Equipment Over

If I Could Get My Membership Fee Back, I'd Resign From The Human Race.

I Don't Have To Look Up My Family Tree, Because I Know That I'm The Sap.

Radio Is A Bag Of Mediocrity Where Little Men With Carbon Minds Wallow In Sluice Of Their Own Making.

The Last Time I Saw Him He Was Walking Down Lover's Lane Holding His Own Hand.

I Play A Musical Instrument A Little, But Only For My Own Amazement.