Sure I Smoked Pot In Hospital. My

I Bought A New Japanese Car, I Turned On The Radio ... I Don't Understand A Word They're Saying.

I Tell Ya, My Wife, We Get Along Good Cause We Have Our Own Arrangement. I Mean, One Night A Week I Go Out With The Boys And One Night A Week, She Goes Out With The Boys.

I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen. Not Out Of Happiness, But To Go To A Different Place, Because Reality Wasn't Good To Me.

A Girl Phoned Me The Other Day And Said... 'come On Over, There's Nobody Home.' I Went Over. Nobody Was Home.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.