South Park Called...they Want Their Everything Back.

Life Has To Keep Going, So You Can Either Be A Victim The Rest Of Your Life And Let It Drag You Down Into Drugs And Alcohol And Depression Or You Can Turn It Into Something Good, Fun Even, You Know, And I Tell Young People Who Are Going Through Depression That This Might Be The Most Important Time Of Your Life. This Might Be What Makes You A Great Artist Later On.

Last Time I Was In Canada Celine Dion Had Just Given Birth To Identical Twins. Which Is Quite An Achievement Given Her Age And Face.

Comedians A Lot Of Times We're On The Road, We're By Our Self. We Come Home To New York To Our Empty One-bedroom Apartment, You Know, And We Need A Place To Go Where You See A Bunch Of Other Miserable People Sit Around And Eat A Corned Beef Sandwich.

How Is It Possible That Courtney Love Looks Worse Than Kurt Cobain?

With Everybody Having A Facebook And A Twitter, I Feel Like Regular People Consider Themselves Stars. It's A Live, Real-time Upload Of Every Time We Buy A Pair Of Socks, The Most Telling Sign That We're Losing Our Politeness. When You Know Everything About Somebody, You Can Talk To Them Any Way You Please.