If I'm Not Working, I Don't Know

I Can't Even Get Three Weeks Off To Have Cosmetic Surgery.

Women Are My Best Friends, My Best Audience. If I Look Out From The Stage And See A Lot Of Men, I Know I'm In Trouble

A Closet Full Of Wire Hangers Can Be The Most Dangerous Place In The World.

When I Said I Didn't Have A Cent, I Didn't. I Used To Get Annoyed With People Who Said They Were Broke When They Had Five Dollars.

I Cant Stand Those Food Cult People Who Bring Their Own Food Into The House. All Those Little Thermoses And Paper Bags-it Makes The Other Guests Uncomfortable.