Some People Are Born Losers; Others Acquire

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.

My Illness Is Due To My Doctor's Insistence That I Drink Milk, A Whitish Fluid They Force Down Helpless Babies.

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.

Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You Throw Her Out Into The Yard On A Cold Night, She Can Still Survive.

All The Men In My Family Were Bearded, And Most Of The Women.