Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll

So Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing, I Will Make Mine Whiskey.

Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I Do.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.